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Struggle Bus

3/6/17

Yeah, I haven't posted lately because Ive been pretty frustrated by my lack of exercising and fitness abilities.
It feels impossible at times to make healthy choices. Either because of fatigue or nausea. For several weeks the only things I could really eat were toast, potatoes, bananas and crackers. It just wasn't enough to fuel a day, much less a workout! Also, when you get winded walking up a single flight of stairs, you tend to get ornery. It feels like I'm just getting fat and out of shape. Which is a blast.

The last day or two, as the weather has been nicer, I've been, I'm not sure how to phrase it, let down? Irritated? By my inability to do activities I would normally love; running, hiking, biking, swimming. I'm bummed I can't do the triathlon. I'm bummed I can't get my ass in gear to run. I'm bummed I can't participate at the same level I was before.

A lot of this helped me to see how little I was doing before getting pregnant. How I had the whole world available to me, and I wasn't doing shit with it. That has really motivated me to set goals and make plans for after Cletus arrives.

I think next weekend we are going to go hiking and maybe kayaking down at a state park. I'm hopeful that will alleviate some of my irritation.

I'm also making it more of a priority to move, to lift weights, to play in the garden, to dance. Just to feel better.

Thankfully I'm not yet showing, tomorrow will be 10 weeks, but I'm definitely thickening out. I know it's a natural process and thank the Good Lord for it, but it can be difficult to come to terms with a new body shape and ability.

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